to quentin: solstice d’été

Manhattan from the Q train

Exactly a year ago, I was in Brussels visiting you. Dying slightly of malaria, but deliriously happy to be with my friends and so much sunlight and good food and music. (Solstices always remind me of you—I spent the winter solstice two years ago at your home in Urmatt.)

New York is not quite as good as Europe is at the summer solstice. There was a smattering of live music at some bars in the city, but really nothing like Paris during Fête de la Musique. Still had a really lovely evening with some white wine listening to jazz in the street. Warm summer night.

I promised you over two months ago with some life updates and I keep on meaning to write you, but all of a sudden it’s the end of June and I haven’t yet done that.

Kusama’s Narcissus Garden at Fort Tilden

I’m in New York City now. (Finally.) I had written you back in March about possibly moving in with my friend Ashlie in Brooklyn in the Park Slope neighborhood. During my last month of classes, I realized that I desperately needed to get a job in order to even consider moving out of my parents’ home in New Jersey. I stopped all GRE studying and poured all my energies into job applications. Sent in about a dozen, feeling increasingly more cynical about this whole ordeal.

The first job I applied for asked me to come in for an interview. And then a second interview. And then emailed me within hours to ask me to come in for a third. I was quiet about the whole process, not wanting to build it up too much and get too hopeful about the whole thing. I felt like I was on the precipice of something big, but was scared of having to go back and start from scratch. But then they called me one day in the middle of class with a job offer.

It’s with New York Cares, which is New York City’s largest volunteer organization. We have 65,000 volunteers and partner with 1,300 nonprofits in the city. My new job is as Program Manager of our hunger programs, which means I make sure that the food pantries, soup kitchens, food rescue teams, and urban farms we’re partnered with get enough volunteers on a regular basis. It’s really such an amazing fit for me and my passions about food security. I feel really lucky to have ended up here. My co-workers are fun, I get to go out and work on farms and soup kitchens, the work is inspiring. Only downside is my office has no windows, but hey, not everything can be perfect, right?

I make shit money with them but it’s expected. But it’s still enough to pay rent for that cute little apartment in Park Slope with my friend. I just moved in two weeks ago! It’s such a dream. The neighborhood is adorable. There’s a food co-op right across the street that I’ve joined. The trains are close by. Prospect Park is only two avenues away. We adopted two cute cats that were abandoned at a local clinic. Plan another US trip and you can come crash on the couch and see my neighborhood!

I’m so happy right now. Not since before evacuation have I felt so at peace and happy. For six months, I was living half in New Jersey, half in New York, feeling like my life was cleaved in two. It’s so fucking relieving to be here in the city and not have to wonder every night whose couch I was going to be crashing on or which bus I was taking home. I can just go to my own apartment, cuddle with the cats, and sleep. Ben also moved out of his aunt and uncle’s place the same week as me, so we’re both in Brooklyn (albeit on opposite corners) but it’s still wonderful to not be living in separate states.

I’ve been pretty nomadic for the past few years—some part of me always believed that I was happiest living like that. How strange it feels to be so happy when I’m so settled. I’ve got the job, the apartment, the boyfriend. It all feels very adult and distant from Burkina. This is the first time I’m entering a job and a relationship without an expiration date. Even my apartment is month to month rather than a year-long lease. I feel strangely in control of my life and liberated. I can be here doing this job for five years or I can leave New York and Ben next month. It’s so thrilling to not have to depend on a visa.

There are thoughts of grad school and going back to France. I miss existing in French and being pushed to the edges of my comfort levels and the adventure. But I’m pushing it to the back of my mind right now. Why worry about that right now? It’s summer in Brooklyn and I’m so in love and happy. I don’t want much else than this right now. Maybe I’m getting complacent but hey, it’s only been a week. I’ll savor this for a little bit before I start making plans again.